Status Update

On this full moon 4th of July, I realized that it has been WEEKS since my last blog post. But, I have an excellent excuse! I have been in the throws of rehearsing for my first professional acting gig and life as I'm used to it has been so entirely different. This means that I haven't had time for normal spiritual practices, though I did manage to perform a simple solstice ceremony with some open-minded friends. My participation in the Pagan Blog Project has had to go on hold, however I'm expecting that once my shows go up I'll have more time on my hands to blog and maintain my practice.

And now I must go build a fire, do some chanting and commune with the Goddess. Sabbat blessings threefold upon you all!

New Beginnings

I have parted with my friends,
I have said farewell to my mother and sister,
and I must away.
Soon, too soon,
the long night shall end and the day shall come upon me,
when the final errands and tasks shall be completed
and I shall journey to new valleys,
new hills and streams,
new faces.
Why does this parting jar me so?
When did I put my roots deep into the earth beneath me,
without knowledge,
without permission,
I grew them here.
I sang a sweet song to the earth, and she beckoned me--
"Come, deeper still, until you
and this earth
and this stone
and this water
and this fire,
until all this is one in you and of you"
And now I must leave her,
and find her elsewhere.
She will have a different face
a different scent
a different sound in my ears,
but it will be her, and I look forward to meeting her again.

Sunny Morning

Good morning, sun

Good morning, earth. 

Good morning, lark in dew drenched tree. 

Good morning, peaks 

good morning, sky

good morning to all things I see.

K is for: Kitchen Magic (Pagan Blog Project)

There are few things as satisfying as sitting down to a big dinner surrounded by family and friends and beautiful food. There is something inherently magical about a thoughtfully made meal whether it is on a special occasion or holiday or just a regular weekday. Why not take a meal and make it actually magical?
I often forget to pay attention to the magical properties of the ingredients I'm using- how they combine, how the energies play off each other- I'm usually thinking about 2 things: flavor and color. I like a pretty plate... presentation is everything. But when I take flavor and presentation and add an element of intention, the meal is taken to a whole new level.
Kitchen magic is a huge subject, much too big for one little blog post. But we can approach it like a recipe:

A Magical Meal:
Ingredients:
Intention
The best ingredients available
Concentration
Patience
A Smile
An apron (optional, but helpful!)

Step 1: Begin with your Intention.

Do you want your meal to seduce? Relax? Do you want it to cleanse and bring clarity? Do you want to honor a certain season or deity? Find your intention before you begin planning your meal, or if you already have something in mind, let it help you find your intention. If you are in the mood for something in particular, spend a moment figuring out why that sounds so appealing to you- this will be your first clue.  For example, perhaps I am craving a big salad of spinach with apple, pecans and goat cheese. When I stop and think about why that sounds so tasty, maybe I realize that I want something that makes my body feel as good as the food tastes- so my intention could be to heal and support my body while seducing my senses. Then I would follow that intention through into the details. What herbs and spices will I use to flavor the rest of the meal? What kind of beverages? Perhaps something like ginger lemonade- cool, refreshing, yet spicy and incredibly flavorful. Take into account the actual magical properties of the foods you are combining. I myself keep Scott Cunningham's "Wicca in the Kitchen" handy next to my cookbooks for quick reference when I need to know the planetary and elemental alignments of my ingredients.

Step 2: Plan your meal with Love.

A truly magical meal involves many different elements, from the actual cooking process to the presentation, the table setting to the music playing and even the people sitting around the table. An elegant meal by candlelight can easily be either posh or seductive simply based on the music playing- classical or french jazz? A sunset picnic or an early-evening barbecue?  Once you've decided on the feel you want for your meal and what you want to serve, it's time to go shopping! If you can afford to, especially for special meals (or any meal that you're putting this much love into...), I suggest getting locally grown produce and/or meat, fresh herbs, and going organic as much as possible. The best of all, of course, are ingredients from your own garden, if you have one! It becomes pretty obvious how much better it tastes and makes you feel when you invest in locally grown and high quality ingredients. Take time and enjoy your shopping; choose your produce lovingly- find the onion that feels right in your hand, the tomato that beckons to you amongst all the other little tomatoes, the steak that makes your mouth water just to look at it. Savor the experience of "going to market"!

Step 3: Cook with Intention, Concentration, Patience and a Smile!

If your only intention is simply to make yourself and your guests full and happy, cooking with patience and a smile on your face can go a long way! If you'd like to take the magic a step further, say a chant to help get yourself to a trance state as you are chopping and preparing your ingredients. Do the same as you are stirring, basting, flipping, tossing, or adding ingredients... if you don't have a chant, try humming a little tune that evokes the magical intention you are aiming for.. cheery, sultry, soothing, etc. and continue humming it at every stage of the cooking process. Once you've entered a trance state or at least a more concentrated, mentally focused state, begin to hold your intention quietly in your mind. Feel your intention spread outward into your core and through your limbs, and hold it there. Then, send it out into the food through your hands and your breath as you are working. This is where the true magic lies. :)
Patience is key. Cooking can actually be quite stressful, as I'm sure you all know- trying to get the timing right so everything is ready at the same time and nothing is over- or under-cooked, getting the meal on the table before your guests start eating each other (or have gone through too much wine), making sure nothing is burning, keeping the pan simmering just so while juggling a sink full of dirty dishes, the list goes on and on. Trust me, I've been there-- on the verge of tears, frustrated, irritable, and trying to keep my mother out of my kitchen. Usually, in those moments, I remember that the food will only taste as good as the cook feels as they are cooking it-- it is remarkable how hard it is to truly enjoy a meal if the person preparing it was stressed or angry or the like, even if you have no idea they are feeling that way. Besides, I hate the thought of all that stress and frustration going through my cooking into the food and affecting my friends and family! So, even if the meal seems on the brink of disaster, I force myself to take a deep breath, smile at myself, smile at the food and send it some loving vibrations. I slow down, take a sip of wine, and let my intention fill me once more. If you feel you've really spilled some bad energy in your beef bourguignon, it can be fixed- concentrate your mind on the food and draw the bad energy out (use a wand if you like, I just hold my hand over the concoction). Then pour more love right on in and keep working.

And an apron. Oh yes, the apron! Well, the apron helps with the patience part, I find. I tend to get a bit messy when I cook, and I use my hands a lot (don't worry, I keep them SUPER clean!!!), so it's inevitable that I'll lose the kitchen towel somewhere along the way. I don't like using up paper towels. So, the apron is the solution! It's always just there to wipe my hands on quick after I've rinsed them off or gotten flour on them, and it saves my clothes from destruction. What's there not to love?

Now, this may not be the type of magic you were expecting to find under a topic on kitchen magic- and certainly there are many other ways of using magic in the kitchen- but I've found it to be some of the most rewarding magical work I do.
Well, that's about it, dearies! I'll follow this post with a few ideas for magical meals, to help you get started. Have fun, have patience, and cook with a SMILE! :)

Bon Appetit!

I Am the Rain.

I am the rain.
The rain that falls from Nwyfre,
The drop that finds a pool,
The pool that finds a rivelet,
The rivelet that finds a brook,
The brook that finds a pond,
The pond that finds a stream,
The stream that finds a torrent,
The torrent that finds a lake,
The lake that finds a river,
The river that finds the sea,
The sea that meets the ocean,
The ocean that finds a storm,
The storm that makes a raindrop,
A drop that feeds a world.

Memories from a Gathering

Finally I have a spare bit of time to sit and write something of my wonderful experience at the Gathering For Life On Earth, which I attended last weekend. Where to begin, where to begin?

The drive itself from Montana through northern Washington and the Northern Cascades National Forest was the perfect way to start off our journey. The miles of forest and hills, peaks and cascades sped by, with my traveling companion Eric and I laughing and singing all the way. After a day and a half on the road, we reached the Canadian border south of Vancouver, followed our Google Maps directions to the site of the Gathering, and with slight trepidation, turned down the drive, rolling through dappled sunlight under a canopy of trees until we reached the parking lot.

We were barely out of the car when a lovely lady greeted us and in moments we were laughing together almost like old friends. I felt the excitement swell in my chest as we were handed our welcome packets and began to make our way toward the rest of the camp. I immediately loved the presence of the place-- the forest so lush and quiet, the sunlight sparkling like diamonds on the water of the lake, the winding paths and the sound of chatter here and there as more and more people arrived.

To unpack was the work of a moment, and before I knew it, the Opening Ceremony was beginning. We were all given clay medallions and pomegranate seed beads and made necklaces with them. Not knowing what to expect from the ritual, I let out a deep breath and released my anxieties to the wind, which whisked them far away from me, and before I knew it I was feeling myself lifting and flying into the Between. Persephone was embodied, welcoming us to the place between the worlds, and we danced the serpentine dance, took on the guise of many animals while we appreciated each of them for their unique qualities, and danced freely, stamping the earth with our feet and throwing our hands to the sky. The sky grew dark around us, and the ritual came to a close, leaving the sacred circle in place for the coming weekend. "I cast the circle round about. Spirit within, World without..."

I sought out some solitude and found the DJ putting the finishing touches on the Grotto Pavilion where there would be music and dancing late into the evenings. I helped him put colored glowing lights into paper lanterns hung high above the dance floor, and watched the swirling lights the disco ball threw onto the wood and walls. Eventually, we made our way back to the fire, I pulled out my fiddle along with Eric, the DJ on his bodhran, and a new friend on the saw. Soon, the fire was encircled by new faces and we went around introducing ourselves, with many laughs along the way. Spirits and wine flowed freely and before I knew it, I was one of the last two people at the campfire. Not wanting to acknowledge my weariness, I hesitantly made my way back to the cabin and fell into a heavy, comfortable sleep.

I didn't make it to breakfast the next morning-- the only time I ever made that mistake, I assure you, for the breakfasts we were provided were top notch (especially the bacon) and worth stumbling out of bed for. I eventually leapt out of bed when I realized that I was about to miss the first workshop, and in a whirlwind I dressed and scampered to the meeting place.

The sunny day was full to the brim: workshops, a wonderful hot shower, fiddle playing on the deck while others lolled about like lazy cats in the warmth, lunch, and then the Main Ritual in the early afternoon. The Shaman led us in a ritual to honor and release the dead so that they may become ascended spirits- ancestors. We cried our "Wassail!" to them as we passed the horn of mead, we breathed deeply of the sage and the soil at our feet and when all had been said and prepared, we built an underground cairn and released the weight of the dead from our shoulders. It was a truly moving and spirit-filled ritual full of meaning and so beautifully simple and raw.

The evening came on quickly after more workshops and I hungrily devoured my dinner, glancing around at all of the lovely and different faces around me. I tried to notice each one- who they were, from the inside out, and I was nearly overwhelmed by the beauty of all these incredible essences around me. I melted into the swirling conversation, and was swept away once more as the night became darker and many of us made our way to the fire for dancing, drumming, mead and general revelry. The rest of that night becomes somewhat blurry in my memory-- we moved some fire down to the Grotto and danced under the pavilion, eating strawberries and drinking Moose Drool (a Montana beer), mead, whiskey and such. Eventually people began to drift away to bed, until there were only three around the sacred fire, and the laughter and conversation lingered, and lingered, and lingered.... until the world began to lighten and the bright gray of morning spread into the sky. Then, I realized what I'd done and sped away to my cabin, collapsing in a heap on my bed.

Despite my very very late night, I awoke bang on the dot at 7:55 and scooted up to the Main Cabin for omelettes and bacon. Oh, gods, that bacon! I have to learn how to make mine taste that good. After breakfast, I took my yoga mat out to the docks, praying that the rain would hold off long enough for me to get the blood pumping and some sun salutations in. I warmed up slowly in Mountain Pose until I felt a gentle warmth all over, then shed every scrap of clothing and did a series of sun salutations, which became more invigorating as the rain started to sprinkle down gently. Finishing my practice in Namaste, I turned toward the lake, took a deep breath, and took the plunge! down, down into the cold dark water. As I lifted myself back onto the dock, the previously chilly air felt warm against my skin. I wrapped up and went to take a hot shower but no.... it was time for the Altered States workshop, so I grabbed my sleeping bag and wrapped up like a cocoon as we drummed and chanted and discussed flying ointments and trance-inducing herbs. I didn't discover my trigger during the workshop, but it all came in handy later in the evening.

I decided to opt out of the Women's ritual, but I enjoyed sitting in front of the fire under the porch, listening to the rain and watching my friends whittle. I could hear the deep voices of the men in their ritual under the singing and chanting women's voices and it all mingled with the sounds of the forest, the water and the fire crackling away. Time slowed to a trickle, but eventually dinner was served and a large group gathered for Storytelling by the hearth in the Main Lodge. There were funny stories and scary yarns, jokes, folk tales and poems.

And then there was music. A caleigh grew right out of the woodwork and soon enough we had two fiddles, guitar and enough drums to blow the roof off the building! Eventually, the dancing started, and the divining, flying ointments and mead drunk from the great curved horn of the Shaman. More drumming, and dancing, and drumming and spinning and whirling, faster and faster, sometimes slow and sensuous. I myself was called by a Goddess whom before I had never known deeply and we had our moments surrounded by rose petals and desire. When I returned to the dancing, I felt neither the floor beneath my feet nor a chill against my skin as the drumming and dancing spiraled upward and upward until it all came down and nearly knocked me to the floor with its power. Ah, the ECSTASY!!! I ventured out into the rain, down to the fire, and chatted with one of my new friends about his take on the weekend, and we stared out at the green-gray lake past the smoking fire. The night waned and one by one everyone slipped off to bed, but I was filled with vibrations and energy and paced around the Main Lodge for an hour, waiting until I was the last little body in the darkness before I slipped back to the cabin for a few hours of restful sleep.

The next morning, I was up for breakfast again, and smiling at all the tired but happy faces around me, noting in the mirror the circles under my own eyes, and yet the pink glow was still in my skin. After breakfast, there was packing up of workshops and canopies and the like, and I pitched in until I simply had to retreat to the warm hearth on the deck. I purchased some wares from the Witch of Forest Grove, and a turtle shell from the Shaman. I watched the Shaman tighten and tone his drums in front of the fire, as they were loose and warped from all of the moisture, as several of us huddled around the fire, unwilling to think about the Gathering coming to an end. The morning passed slowly, but not slowly enough- soon we were gathering in the Lodge for the Closing Ritual. We remembered the events of the weekend: the companionship, the moments of enlightenment, the rowdy revelries, the introspective silences, and all the spaces in between which we had been floating through for the past days. And the black raven gates came forward, and we joined hands for our serpentine dance back into the realm of the living, out of the Between. I dreaded that gate, I remember. I could see myself drawing nearer and nearer it, and I felt my spirit struggle with my feet that drew me closer to the end of the journey. But there it was before me, and then I was through, and I released the breath that was caught in my lungs and took a deep breath in, and I knew that I had returned.

Soon after, the farewells and parting of ways began. Some of the women took roses from the Temple and processed to the docks. We chanted to Aphrodite as we cast the petals onto the lake, the men standing respectfully on the further shore. Then it was time to say final goodbyes, and after giving a final offering of honey whiskey at the crossroads/cairn, Eric and I loaded the car, took a deep breath, and drove away.

The drive home was long but peaceful, we listened to Celtic music and talked about our experiences at the Gathering. We both had a hard time breaking out of our trance-y moods and coming back to reality, but then again neither of us really wanted to. I had to force myself, because driving and trancing never mix well, but Eric was a pleasure to watch as he drifted in and out over our trip home.

I will never forget this Gathering, and I promise that I will be back... I can't imagine never seeing all the Gathering's fair folk again. So I return to my life, rejuvenated and inspired, filled with loving Awen, and I begin to look forward to next year's Gathering.

Threefold blessings upon you all.

A new book and a magical night

     I had some extra time yesterday. So, I allowed myself a trip to "Rocks and Things... Metaphysical" store in downtown Whitefish. I didn't really know what I wanted to buy, but I was hoping to find some literature on Druidry and maybe find information on other local Druids.
     I didn't find any information on other Druids in the area, but I did find a book called The Druid Handbook by John Michael Greer. I also was drawn to a flattened orb of Selenite that fit neatly into the palm of my hand and seemed very responsive to my touch. I purchased both, went home and cracked open my book.
     What a treasure-store of information! I was afraid that the historical chapters would be dry and hard to get through, but I was quickly absorbed into the fascinating information regarding the birth of the Druid Revival and its development into today's Druid spirituality. I got all the way through it and into the second part of the book, of which I read the first triad, which left me awed by the wealth of relevant information regarding Awen and the beautiful, intensely meaningful Druid philosophies regarding reincarnation- the circles of manifestation. So much information was presented that, although I could have easily kept reading further into the second and third triads within part two, I stopped after the first. I need to take time and digest the material-- maybe give myself some homework and do some activities around the topics presented. It is of utmost importance to me to be able to retain the information by memory, rather than having to refer to my book every time I'm wondering what element or season relates to each ray of Awen. All in all, I'm extremely pleased with my purchase and look forward to the beginnings of my Druidic study.
    There was a spring snowstorm yesterday, and before I retired for the evening I decided to go out and stand in the falling flakes. The darkness was so peaceful and still, and I could feel the Goddess's slow inhale and exhale resonating through everything. As I looked toward a lone streetlamp that illuminated the path skirting the pond across the road, I found myself watching for a satyr to step out of the darkness of the trees and into that circle of light. It seemed as though he was standing at the edge, just out of sight, peering at me from the bushes. The flakes of snow seemed to form a veil through which I was seeing the Otherworld, and I longed to step through it and lose myself in the mystical realm. But not yet, a small voice whispered, and I knew somehow that I must wait until further in my training to attempt such a thing. So, I said a whispered prayer to the Goddess, and chanted a slow A-oh-wen into the chill night air. She seemed to smile and pulsate around me, knowing that I was reaching out to her, before bidding me goodnight. I returned to my warm house and warm bed, to spend the night in beautiful and serene dreams.