It is a calm night; there are only two cats and myself hanging about the house, and I find myself once again in a state of transition. With a few weeks ahead of me before I join my husband in Minneapolis and the excitement and busyness of my summer theatre experience behind me, I have no responsibilities and no desire for them.
I have begun to prepare myself emotionally for my move to the city and for the adventures and opportunities I will find there, and part of that preparation is in searching out the barriers to my success that are lodged deep within, that I can recognize from my past as having subtly sabotaged my various attempts. This self-sabotage is not something that I scold myself for; rather it is a means by which I educate myself and hopefully overcome the obstacles I have placed in my own path. The blue moon this month was an excellent opportunity for cleansing my spirit and feeling the full potential of the bounty of life. I realized that the only true hazards and obstacles on the path to my goals are ones I create, and I mean to clear them up as best I can before my new adventures begin in earnest. Mainly, I must search out the true beginnings of my weaknesses- self-consciousness, lack of motivation, difficulty in seeing things through to the end. For all of these, I know, are rooted in deeper and more fundamental issues at the core of my being. So, taking at the very least the baby steps of recognition and acceptance, to be followed in the coming weeks with meditation and soul-searching, I undertake a goal of clearing the path before me, so that I may make my way easier for myself.
To new beginnings, then! I remember a phrase from one of my favorite films, Anne of Green Gables: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." With this in mind, I hereby forgive myself of my past failings, and cast them to the wind that they will not become stones upon the road of Tomorrow or weights upon my feet as they meet this new path.
Onward, ho!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Summer is Waning
There isn't much to report here but contentment. Despite the fact that my husband is many miles away in Minneapolis, and I struggle with the occasional bout of loneliness, I feel I have been living a dream. My only responsibility is to get to the theatre at the call time, and act my heart out. Much of my summer has been filled with a dreamy easiness; enough time on my hands to feel as though time is passing slowly and leisurely, yet at the same time busy: road tripping to national parks, spending time with family, and doing summery things like going to the lake and barbecuing with friends. There is a fire pit in the back yard for those nights when I just want to sit and gaze at the stars- many nights spent this way have ended only when the birds begin to sing at 5 o'clock in the morning!
At the last full moon, I was sitting upon the front lawn, gazing at the brilliance of the night sky, when I felt the pivotal shift, an acknowledgement that the summer is waning and, though we have many warm summer days ahead, the realization that my experience here is drawing to a close and new adventures await during the further waning year. The autumn is approaching, and the past few nights have been a testament to this, bringing a chill wind that smells of the harvest and the fading sun. The skies are changing and storms have begun to blow through more frequently- high summer has come and gone.
I realize that my postings this summer have been non-existent; I suppose that in some way I expected this-- surrounded by new people and places, I have been swept up in this new lifestyle and the inner quietness and anticipation of spring has given way to social activities and other non-spiritual pursuits. I have, however, found that my focus and inspiration is driven now by a deeper force. Always present, it moves me to bring a spiritual aspect to all my pursuits. I listen to the trees when I sit alone on the front lawn- always waiting for a hint of otherworldly visitors and messages from the Between. I feel the pull of the moon, a constant tie to the great Mother of the Earth and Sky. I am in tune with the spirit of community, and I am connecting on a foundational level with my art and passions.
The Western Gate Samhain Festival is glowing ahead on the horizon, a blazing beacon to look forward to, knowing that I will again be surrounded by my new Pagan friends from the Northwest. It will be a new challenge, and a fantastic experience; I have been invited to participate in leading the opening ceremony, as well as performing and teaching a craft workshop (quite the new venture for me, not being the most "crafty" person in the world). I am looking forward to the planning and preparations and of course the festival itself, the meeting of new people and the recharge of energy I'm sure I will walk away with after a long, emotionally-driven summer. I will post more details on this event soon- we are waiting for the website to go up- so stay tuned! Until then, check out basic info on this event here: http://witchofforestgrove.com/events/
Thus ends my status update, albeit brief. My fiddle calls me from the lawn where it is resting nearby; I follow the Muse, and hope for a moment with Awen before the night is through.
Three-fold blessings to all!
At the last full moon, I was sitting upon the front lawn, gazing at the brilliance of the night sky, when I felt the pivotal shift, an acknowledgement that the summer is waning and, though we have many warm summer days ahead, the realization that my experience here is drawing to a close and new adventures await during the further waning year. The autumn is approaching, and the past few nights have been a testament to this, bringing a chill wind that smells of the harvest and the fading sun. The skies are changing and storms have begun to blow through more frequently- high summer has come and gone.
I realize that my postings this summer have been non-existent; I suppose that in some way I expected this-- surrounded by new people and places, I have been swept up in this new lifestyle and the inner quietness and anticipation of spring has given way to social activities and other non-spiritual pursuits. I have, however, found that my focus and inspiration is driven now by a deeper force. Always present, it moves me to bring a spiritual aspect to all my pursuits. I listen to the trees when I sit alone on the front lawn- always waiting for a hint of otherworldly visitors and messages from the Between. I feel the pull of the moon, a constant tie to the great Mother of the Earth and Sky. I am in tune with the spirit of community, and I am connecting on a foundational level with my art and passions.
The Western Gate Samhain Festival is glowing ahead on the horizon, a blazing beacon to look forward to, knowing that I will again be surrounded by my new Pagan friends from the Northwest. It will be a new challenge, and a fantastic experience; I have been invited to participate in leading the opening ceremony, as well as performing and teaching a craft workshop (quite the new venture for me, not being the most "crafty" person in the world). I am looking forward to the planning and preparations and of course the festival itself, the meeting of new people and the recharge of energy I'm sure I will walk away with after a long, emotionally-driven summer. I will post more details on this event soon- we are waiting for the website to go up- so stay tuned! Until then, check out basic info on this event here: http://witchofforestgrove.com/events/
Thus ends my status update, albeit brief. My fiddle calls me from the lawn where it is resting nearby; I follow the Muse, and hope for a moment with Awen before the night is through.
Three-fold blessings to all!
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